I am one week in to my yoga teacher training at Yoga Vida. We learned philosophy (which I loved) and anatomy (which may be the reason I fail this class). Every day begins with asana practice (AKA a yoga class). The first day, I smiled realizing that – were I at my old job, I would have been standing outside waiting for my boss with her drink (venti passion fruit iced tea, no sweetener, extra ice, extra shaken).
On the second day, however, mid way through our morning practice – this wave of guild rushed over me. My mom and husband are having to take over all of the work of raising my kids while I indulge in my favorite pass-time for a month. I wanted to title this blog post “I Deserve This” but I haven’t gotten that far yet.
Why is it so hard for me to take care of myself? Why am I so willing to put everyone ahead of me. My mom, my husband, my kids, my boss. I will sacrifice my own enjoyment for them. Why? Is it because I am a woman and the patriarchy is all around us? Is it because I’m a mom and society tells me that any other sense of identity is selfish and wrong?
My first week is now complete and I couldn’t be happier. We are learning so much. Sometimes too much. But I am so glad that I did this. Maybe I even deserve this?